The Top 5 Things I Discovered About Being in a Healthy RelationshipNov 29, 2022
When I was stuck in the cycle of unhealthy relationships, my idea of what was "normal" was quite skewed.
Once I learned how to become my own "knight in shining armor" and how to attract healthy relationships, my entire experience changed.
Here are the top 5 things I discovered about a healthy relationship after only having toxic ones:
1. I feel peaceful, trusted and worry-free.
My husband and I have mutual trust and respect, and allow each other our own space. In the past when I was away from my partner, I had to be attached to my phone. If I didn’t answer a text right away he would track me down or curse me out.
2. I feel confident and secure in my partner.
My husband has proven the quality of his character not just when things are good, but also when they’re challenging. In my past toxic relationships I allowed myself to get attached to when things were good, and when they showed their true colors I would become the “fixer” rather than admit to the red flags and break it off. This caused me to walk on eggshells in relationships, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
3. I can be authentic, transparent and communicative.
I can be totally honest and up-front with my husband, and easily share my wants and needs because I know he accepts me as an individual and wants me to do what I enjoy, with no need to control or manipulate me. In the past I would be secretive; I had become so used to “not being allowed” or “getting in trouble” for simple things like going straight to the gym or going out with a friend, my habit was to not share my desires and plans.
4. I feel supported and appreciated.
My husband may not always agree with how I do things, but he supports and inspires me to be who I am and create the life I want to live. He loves me for all of the things my ex used to put me down for. My ex would tell me I was too loud, too opinionated and nobody wanted to hear what I had to say. So I dimmed myself and withdrew.
5. I can feel safe being vulnerable.
My husband and I create a space of acceptance and unconditional love, where we can freely express the whole range of emotions that come up without fear of backlash, record keeping or manipulation. With my ex, anything I said can and would be used against me.
I used to feel that this special kind of relationship just wasn’t in the cards for me. Many women like us often feel the same, so they settle for less than they truly deserve, feeling stuck with no way out.
You may feel the same right now. I want you to know that you were not created to suffer, settle and play small. Even if your light has been dimmed too low to remember how bright it once was, once you learn how to break the cycle you can quickly attract a deeply satisfying love relationship into your life.
You are worthy and deserving, and you can do this!
Stephanie McPhail, MS
Author and founder
Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt
If you are driven and solution-oriented but need some help creating a new, healthy chapter in your life, explore the ways we've helped countless clients create and attract the best life has to offer here.