Stephanie McPhail, Ms
Transformational Life Coach and Author of Number One New Release in Codependency
Are You Codependent?
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Being Loved Shouldn't Hurt: Recognize and Overcome Toxic Relationships So You Can Live Your Best Life Now
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Have you always put everyone else’s needs above your own?
Have you suffered from narcissistic abuse?
Have you ever felt that your feelings and needs are not valuable or important?
If you don’t feel like you matter, how can you value and stand up for yourself?
When all you have ever known is love that is uncomfortable, anxiety causing and stressful you are taught how to love in an unhealthy way. If you learn that everyone else is important and your needs don’t matter then you do not protect your energy and instead give until you feel drained and empty and then keep giving some more! This sets you up for a lifetime of unhealthy relationships where you might find yourself physically and mentally abused, constantly stressed, worried and never getting to experience the calmness of healthy love from a true partner. Instead spend your life trying to control others behavior as you feel more and more out of control, lost and alone.
“Codependence is the pain in adulthood that comes from being wounded as a child.” Carol Cannon
“Codependency is a pattern of behaviors and beliefs learned by children of dysfunctional families while they're growing up. These behaviors and beliefs may be useful to the family, because they allowed it to survive, and therefore the children learn to rely on those behaviors so as to manage within the family system.”
The good news is, if you fall into the category of codependency, then it means you’re a survivor. You did whatever you knew to do. Sadly, holding onto these behaviors in your adult life can be detrimental to all future relationships.
You are not to blame for being treated badly, but it is your job to change unhealthy patterns and take your power back so they don’t continue.
A dysfunctional family can be outlined in a few different ways let’s keep it simple: it’s a “family that consists of one or both parents having issues that interfere with their functions as parents.” This can include mental disorders, drug or alcohol addiction, some kind of sexual or physical abuse, dealing with an explosive temper, chronic illness, death of a parent at a young age, and in a lot of cases it may be more than one issue going on at the same time.
The reason why kids in these types of families learn codependency is because they have had to act in the roll of a parent while they’re still children and not yet ready to take on that responsibility. They have not had the chance to grow up and are already being expected to act in adult ways.
In a dysfunctional family, members suffer from worry, anger, pain, or shame that's ignored, denied, or hidden away. This teaches children that this kind of behavior is acceptable; they believe love and family always include these feelings.
Codependency can be passed down through generations. It keeps people from having mutually satisfying, healthy relationships and has also been known as “relationship addiction.” The fear of being alone drives a lot of people who are codependent into staying in ANY relationship, even if it’s toxic or abusive.
When we really learn and feel the calmness of love we don’t want to go back to these anxiety provoking patterns in relationships. We learn, by listening to our body, when to walk away.
Having overcome unhealthy and abusive relationships I have found my passion to help others do the same. It has become my purpose to bring light into other’s darkness and help them get to the other side where there is abundance and a much calmer life available to them. In order to get there we need to push through the discomfort with the right support.
My life is proof that you can heal from trauma, trauma bonds, faulty unconscious programming, reactivity, anxiety, depression, codependency, and create the life of your dreams!
As a Transformational Life Coach, number one new release author, podcaster, youtuber and speaker, I am honored to support my clients as they change their unhealthy patterns, look for limiting beliefs that may be sabotaging their success and create a workable daily routine to keep them moving forward on their healing journey so they can manifest the life they deserve. .
It is my honor to offer free and paid online programs, books, podcasts, videos, interviews, workshops and live events to help people learn to Master their lives by learning to Master their lives and take their power back.